In the beginning...

Some days I don't even know where to begin. Some days are better than other, and the better days generally outnumber the bad. But let me tell you those bad days can really get to you. I am lucky. I am surrounded by loving caring people, but there are times when they don't understand the struggles that I go through. I struggle with untreated depression and weight issues. I say its untreated but its never been diagnosed. I know there's no shame in it, I have just never spoken to my doctor about it. I don't go through weeks or months of struggling, but there are a fair number of days a month that I have trouble fighting the loneliness, self hate talk, and overall sadness. The weight is another issue. I can stand to lose a solid 140 pounds... that's a lot... and its a lot of extra weight to be carrying on a 5'4 frame. I would almost go as far to say I have an addiction to food. I can do ok most times, but there are other times when I just can't control. I feel that this goes hand and hand with the depression. I feel yucky mentally so I feel the need to make my body feel the same physically. This is where the blog comes in. When you are dealing with a lot, and the people who love you most just don't quite understand you need an outlet to get out the thoughts that drag you down. A place to vent, scream, cry, and celebrate those moments that lift you up! So this is where I begin. I look forward to sharing the journey with whoever out there that may read this. Please feel free to leave a note with your own struggles or successes and we can get through this battle called life together. :)